{"id":2300,"date":"2018-01-21T09:14:04","date_gmt":"2018-01-21T09:14:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/index.php\/2018\/01\/21\/is-there-a-right-way-to-grieve\/"},"modified":"2018-01-21T09:14:04","modified_gmt":"2018-01-21T09:14:04","slug":"is-there-a-right-way-to-grieve","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/2018\/01\/21\/is-there-a-right-way-to-grieve\/","title":{"rendered":"Is there a right way to GRIEVE?"},"content":{"rendered":"

BURIAL AND FUNERAL RITES DIFFER ACROSS DIFFERENT CULTURES IN NIGERIA<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
My dear friend and journalist, Lilian Eze-Mark from Lagos, Nigeria kindly shares the traditions of her nation in regards to care for those who have passed on. Since I just lost my father-in-law, this cultural topic is on my mind. How would a funeral play out in your home country<\/strong>?<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

AFRICA AS A WHOLE SEES THE BURYING OF THEIR DEAD AS AN IMPORTANT TRADITION.<\/strong> IN SOME PARTS OF NIGERIA, BURIAL RITES LAST FOR A WEEK WHILE SOME ONLY SPEND DAYS BURYING THEIR DEAD.\u00a0THE AGE OF THE DEAD DETERMINES THE TYPE OF MOURNING.<\/p>\n

AN AGED PERSON FROM 70 AND ABOVE IS CELEBRATED WITH POMP WHILE IT IS THE OPPOSITE FOR A YOUNG PERSON.<\/p>\n

IN EASTERN NIGERIA, WHERE I COME FROM, THE IGBOS MOURN FOR A LONGER PERIOD – FROM SIX MONTHS TO A YEAR<\/strong>. THE BEREAVED WEARS BLACK TO INDICATE THE SITUATION.<\/p>\n

BURIAL CEREMONY OF THE AGED<\/strong> IS DONE WITH FOOD AND DRINKS SERVED, MUSIC PLAYED, PEOPLE DANCE AND IN SOME CASES, THE COMING OUT OF MASQUERADES.\u00a0SOME OLD PEOPLE PLAN HOW THEY WISH TO BE BURIED WHEN THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR DEATHS, SOME GIVE RULES AND INSTRUCTION TO THEIR CHILDREN BEFORE THEY ARE DEAD AND THE CHILDREN IN TURN OBEY THE RULES BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE THAT DOING OTHERWISE WILL BRING PUNISHMENT FROM THE SPIRIT OF THE DEAD ONES.<\/p>\n

IT IS BELIEVED THAT GIVING THE DEAD A BEFITTING BURIAL WILL GIVE THE DEAD PEACE IN THE OTHER WORLD.<\/p>\n

THE FIRST THING PEOPLE DO AFTER THE LOSS OF THEIR LOVED ONES IS MOURNING. EVERY DEAD MUST BE MOURNED.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

THE FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS AND NEIGHBOURS CRY, WEEP AND FEEL SORRY FOR THE DEMISE. SOME COVER THEIR BODIES IN ASHES WHILE SOME GO TO THE EXTENT OF ROLLING ON THE FLOOR.<\/p>\n

THOSE WHO HOLD CHIEFTAINCY TITLES<\/strong> AND THE TRADITIONAL RULERS HAVE SPECIAL RITES THAT ARE DONE WHEN THEY ARE MOURNED.<\/p>\n

LETTER OF CONDOLENCES, VISITATION AND SPECIAL SERVICES ARE PART OF MOURNING.\u00a0THE BODY OF THE DEAD IS WASHED AND CLOTHED IN WHITE LINEN OR WITH ONE OF HIS DRESSES.<\/p>\n

SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKEN TO THE MORTUARY WHILE SOME ARE NOT BUT THE ISLAMIC RELIGION FROWNS AT THIS ACT.\u00a0THE MUSLIMS BURY THEIR DEAD IMMEDIATELY, MOSTLY WITHIN TWENTY FOUR HOURS<\/strong>.\u00a0THEIR DEAD IS BURIED WITHOUT THE USE OF A COFFIN. THE DEAD IS\u00a0 LAID ON A PLANK AND AFTER WHICH IS LOWERED IN THE GRAVE.\u00a0PRAYERS ARE\u00a0 MADE TO THE DEAD FOR EASY PASSAGE TO THE OTHER WORLD AND TO AVOID THE SPIRITS OF THE DEAD ROAMING AROUND THE HOUSE.\u00a0\u00a0SOME MUSLIMS DO NOT COOK AT ALL WHEN BURYING THEIR DEAD, SOME WOULD\u00a0 SERVE SNACKS WHILE SOME WOULD\u00a0 COOK AND GIVE OUT DRINKS AND GIFTS TO PARTICIPANTS.<\/p>\n

IN THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION, THE TIME AND PERIOD OF BURYING A DEAD ONE IS FLEXIBLE.<\/strong> SOME PEOPLE CAN DECIDE TO BURY THEIR DEAD WITHIN FEW DAYS AND THIS IS COMMON AMONG THOSE THAT DO NOT WANT TO TAKE THE DEAD BODY TO THE MORTUARY. THEIR RELUCTANCE TO DO SO MAY BE ON THE INSTRUCTIONS BY THE DEAD WHEN HE OR SHE WAS ALIVE OR TO CUT COST BECAUSE EMBALMING A DEAD BODY IN THE HOSPITAL\u2019S MORTUARY IS EXPENSIVE. PEOPLE IN THIS RELIGION BURY THEIR DEAD ONES WITH COFFINS OR CASKETS, PRAYERS ARE MADE, FOOD, DRINKS AND GIFTS DISTRIBUTED.<\/p>\n

FOR THOSE THAT BELIEVE THAT THEIR DEAD ONES DIED IN A MYSTERIOUS WAY, SUCH PEOPLE EMPOWER THE DEAD. WHAT DO I MEAN?\u00a0THEY BURY THE DEAD WITH WEAPONS LIKE CUTLASSES AFTER WHICH INCANTATIONS AND TRADITIONAL RITES ARE MADE SO AS TO INVOKE THE SPIRIT OF THE DEAD TO FIGHT HIS OR HER BATTLES AND REVENGE HIS OR HER DEATH.<\/p>\n

THOSE THAT DIED THROUGH LIGHTNING, FLOODING AND THOSE THAT DIED THROUGH SUICIDE ARE NOT BURIED IN A NORMAL WAY.\u00a0\u00a0TRADITIONAL PRIESTS OFFER SACRIFICES TO THE DEITIES AND GODS OF THE LAND TO PURIFY THE LAND AND FORGIVE THE DEAD.<\/p>\n

THE PEOPLE ARE BURIED IN THE THICK FOREST, OUTSKIRTS OF THE TOWN OR BESIDE THE RIVER BANKS. THIS ALL DEPENDS ON THE CAUSE OR THE WAY THEY DIED.<\/p>\n

THE YORUBA PEOPLE OF SOUTH WESTERN NIGERIA HAVE TRADITIONALLY SUPPORTED THE BEREAVED WITH VERBAL PHRASES THAT ARE HELPFUL IN ADDRESSING THE UNIQUE MOURNING SITUATION.\u00a0<\/strong>THE DEATH OF A SPOUSE, A CHILD, A PARENT, OR A SISTER CALL FOR DIFFERENT SALUTATIONS.\u00a0THE AGE OF THE DECEASED, THE CAUSE OF DEATH, AND THE CIRCUMSTANCES SURROUNDING THE DEATH ARE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION IN THESE SALUTATIONS.<\/p>\n

THE APPROPRIATE EXPRESSION OF THESE PHRASES FORM PART OF THE MOURNING RITUALS WHICH HELP THE BEREAVED FEEL CARED FOR AND SUPPORTED.<\/strong><\/p>\n

THE BELIEF IN AFTERLIFE, THE RELIGIOUS ORIENTATION OF THE YORUBAS, THE VALUE PLACED ON INDIVIDUAL LIFE, AND THE ROLE SOCIETY ASSIGNED TO THE BEREAVED FORM THE FOCUS OF THESE PHRASES.<\/p>\n

\n

Further Reading:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Lilian Eze-Mark’s report on how to show ANGER
\nTracy Zhu expresses how difficult it is to be HALF A WORLD AWAY<\/a> when family members suffer<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BURIAL AND FUNERAL RITES DIFFER ACROSS DIFFERENT CULTURES IN NIGERIA AFRICA AS A WHOLE SEES THE BURYING OF THEIR DEAD AS AN IMPORTANT TRADITION. IN SOME PARTS OF NIGERIA, BURIAL RITES LAST FOR A WEEK WHILE SOME ONLY SPEND DAYS BURYING THEIR DEAD.\u00a0THE AGE OF THE DEAD DETERMINES THE TYPE OF MOURNING. AN AGED PERSON […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2301,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[371,4,47,388],"tags":[270,260,271,272,273,274,275,276],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2300"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2300"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2300\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worldsobright.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}