My dear friend, Leticia from Tanzania loves to tell me about Tanzanian tribal wedding rituals and I love to hear them. Countless times on long walks, I ask her to tell me again how many days a wedding lasts in Tanzania. She is so patient with me.
This last time on a walk around Stephen’s Lake, she told me about how the man and woman meet and agree to marry. The problem with my interview process is this: we are walking around a lake without paper and pen nor do we have a recording device.
But now, let’s see how many details I remember. We can always post the corrected version later. At least this is a start.
So, a man feels he is ready to be married and has enough cows or his parents have such or the equivalent in cash to pay a bride price. So the young man sets off for a village in search of a good woman. He travels with his best friend or best man and they ask around for a respectable, hardworking, pure young woman. A suggestion is made and the groom follows up on the leads, locating her home. A meeting is set up between this girl and her best friend at the home of the girl’s parents. Thus, the four young people meet, have a delicious meal of specially prepared foods and they talk, you know, just to see if they hit it off.
The groom-to-be communicates with the girl’s parents, first of course, and so if everyone involved is agreeable, their negotiations continue toward marriage and the marriage price. Well, it gets complicated because the word gets out that a woman of good repute is available and the bride-to-be may get several offers from other young gentlemen who show up with their best friends for a nice meal. She might just get to choose her favorite.
At this point, I’m not sure how the bride’s family knows that the groom-to-be will make a good husband and father. Somewhere and somehow, the two sets of parents have met and discussed their children’s future together. Everyone must give their blessing and the groom’s family must agree on the price.
I’m not sure how the engagement is announced but at a mutual time, the groom-to-be and ten of his friends set out for the village of the lovely lady who said Yes. I sure hope the bride’s mother knows they’re coming because they will stay a few days and will arrive with cows. Depending on your tribe, the bride price would be paid accordingly. By the way, Leticia’s husband’s tribe has expensive brides. She was of average price.
Eventually the tables are turned and the bride ends up at the groom’s house and in his family and part of him forever. The wedding will be amazing and there will be food and the festivities will last for days. But the preliminaries, these days of search and winning the bride, paying for her and the companionship of the men must be a tradition of the ages. It would be wonderful to know that the groom and bride will love each other deeply for the rest of their lives. But one thing is for sure. They are committed and the whole family has witnessed it corporately.
Further Reading
Do you know what a Wedding General is? All foreign travelers should know, just in case you become the dignitary in the midst.
How does it feel to bring your groom home to meet the family in Vietnam and he’s an American? Here’s a close up.
